dunno wat wen wrong in me.
im usually soft to guys.
but eversince with my last ex, elias bin saat.
i tend to be over protective of myself.
end up the other party gets hurt.

i tend to be fierce, rowdy to him.
i dunno why.
at times, i admit.wen i don mit him, i missed him.
but wen it cums to meeting him.
i seem to hate myself fer meeting him. end up he gets super sian.
i realli wan to be with him.
but the other side of me wan to leave him.

is the the side effect of being deeply hurt in e past?
i enjoyed his company.
but...sth seems to stop me frm enjoyin and i dunno wad.

i cant text or answer calls during wrk unless its urgent.
and i don feel the vibration wen it rings.as my pants are super duper baggy.
and he gets sad wen i dun reply to his text or answering his calls.
believe it or not.
ive gotten a violation letter fer "hp nt being silent during operation hours"
i knw its lame.
but its the policy to haf phones silent jus like in the theatre.
sometimes,even wen my mum called and i don answer.
she nags at me wen im home.

many times i "buaY" him and he's unhappy.
sometimes its due to the playful me and the tired me.
im really confused to wad i wan and wad i need.

up till now, i cant show him the concern n love he wants.
and he's sort of...
disappointed.wad can i say? its my fault.

we quarrel over minor things which can be sometimes, huge.
the problem, lies in JESSIE nt u, wandi.
pls don apologise fer the things u did nt do wrong.
instead, let the EGO me do the apologies.

IM SORRY.

like wad u said,'sorry' dis word hardly come out frm my mouth.
and i can say its true.ive becum too ego eversince the last incident.

i tink ive started to hate guys.
but...im not, let me repeat, im NOT a lesbian.

i believe i said many times, give me time, give me time.
but if u tink u cannot afford to give me any more time.
find other better gals out der who can,
give u wad u need frm me. e.g concern.

im serious and not sayin it fer fun.
if u tink im not up to ur standard.
don put ur hopes on me.as i tink.
im realli USELESS.
USELESS to give the care and love to u,

i used to jump in my previous relationships and ended up,
im getting the hurt.

i hope dis explains everything to u,
and the rest is all up to u.

Regards,
Jessie

Labels: hopeless and useless

d0n cal me jessie. cal me sleepyhead
23 years old
sold me lyfe to wrk
smoker
has tattoed 'jessie' on right wrist
has a 'geko' at right ankle

ure invited to read.but uninvited IF u wanna leave ugly comments. its MY blog so i can write watever is on MY MIND.leave if u pls.





lose another 8kg=)
passed a car license
passed a motor license
have more clothes
have more $$$
go overseas
get a gilera runner


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